Tuesday, June 28, 2011

A hand full of weeks...

As much as I want to meet this creature stirring inside me, I recognize that he's so much easier to take care of where he currently resides. I am starting to freak out over the new born time, sleepless nights, the worry of suffocation and too many other worries to list here. Of course there is my worst nightmare of my own death, so I have said it and now it won't happen, I hope...

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Father's Day

I thought I would take a moment to reflect on what a great day it is, all of my days are great for the most part. Today is Father's Day and I am glad that there is a special day to celebrate all of the dads out there who do their best to leave a positive imprint on their children.
I wish I could say that I had warm feelings that welled up inside me at the thought of  my own father. As I continue along on this path  with my soul mate I see the actions that it takes to make a child feel like a blessing. Due to circumstances beyond my control I never felt I was a blessing for my parents .
 I know love now, but only after devastating events, and an equal amount of luck or a personal intervention of God(which is what I liken it to, more than luck anyway).
Other things I know are that wounded people usually wound other people, it is all they know. I also know there are choices.
I am over whelmed with joy on nearly a daily basis, some days I forget or allow the minute stresses of the day to occasionally over power my joy, but all I can do is try to be better.  Being loved and having a partner in my life to show me what truly makes a husband and father, is something I never thought I would have, but I will take it and run, because not everyone has had the stars align for them as they have for me :)